Dear Gadabout Jack: Politics

Dear Gadabout Jack,

It is ironic that as I'm contemplating a run for my local government that you have addressed Citizenship and Leadership in your columns. The tiny town I live in (8000 people) has a Board of Selectmen (BOS) that act as the managing team. There is also a Town Manager that weighs in on some decisions. The BOS has not been as transparent about their dealings as I would like and I want to change that.

My trepidation is this: I've got two little kids (boys 5 and 6) and I know that this position, on top of a full time 50-60 hour-per-week job will take me away from them. Is that worth it? My wife is less than thrilled that I am looking into this as well.

My feeling is that I have more common sense then the members on that board and I can do better then them. I guess the decision comes down to how much crummy leadership I can take until the kids don't care about me, and then I'll make a move towards action.

Signed,
Eager upstart politician in a Tiny Town

Dear Upstart: First off, Gadabout firmly believes that family comes first! Don’t ever forget that. But let’s not lose sight of what a tight family unit can accomplish as a team. The wife is part of that team. Look, good wives raise the kids and the father is pretty much just the figure head. Your kids are already in school, so that leaves plenty of time for your life long mate to take on added responsibilities. Empower your wife to raise the family while you take on the thrill of the hunt, the adventure and the election!

Listen, do you want to be the kind of dad who comes home at 6:00 PM, mows the lawn wearing black socks and sandals, and then forces the kids to study before they hit the rack? No, of course you don’t, because you are a man. It is not surprising that your wife is not thrilled with this idea because it means more work for her and it is YOU who will reap all the glory of success. This might lead to difficult times ahead in your relationship, but when this happens just remind her that you made a vow to stick with her through “good times and bad.” If she gets really upset, then you might want to buy her jewelry, a new car or a complete spa treatment.

Okay, the premise is that you are seriously considering a bid. Gadabout has some background in politics since he was on a failed campaign staff for a US House seat back in ’96. What I took away from that experience was that politics is nasty—really nasty. So fasten your seat belt and be prepared to drive your SUV into a brick wall at 100 mph and pray that the airbags are operational.

Here are a few pointers, and it mostly boils down to research and subtle actions:

Fully understand the organization of the local governmental structures. From what you mentioned, you may have underestimated the roll of the city manager. You must read and understand the charters, budgets, limitations of power for all the players, and ordinances. You must understand informal structures and behind the scenes actors too.

Get to know the backgrounds, habits, lifestyles and family members of major players. It is a small town, so it is very likely that you are already connected to them through church, school and other communication nodes. If you can say to one of them, “hey, I saw your son Billy hit that home run last night, please tell him I pass my congratulations,” then you are moving in the right direction.

Remember, this is a small town, and if you haven’t paid your dues regarding length of residency, you’ll be fighting an up hill battle. McCain tackled this obstacle when he ran for his first house seat in Arizona. His opponent made the mistake of challenging him on his newly established residency, from which he replied (I am not quoting here, so don’t hold me to task on this!), “yes, I am new to Arizona, but I spent the past 30 years of my life serving my country in the United States Navy and 7 of those years were spent as a prisoner of war in Vietnam.” How do you fight that come back?

Your wife MUST take on a civic role. It could be something as simple as president of the gardening club, or as significant as the City Manager’s Chair for improving education.

You need to be seen too. Attend open forums of debate and ask ONE respectful, soft, yet important question concerning policy. Be polite! Ramp up over time, but never take on a disrespectful platform.

Discover your platform. Make a list of what you see is right, and what you view as wrong. From that list create 3 positions of change, and know every aspect of those three planks. Then make a list of three aspects of the community that is GOOD. Know these positives like the back of your hand. Your final list is based upon what you value. Your values will drive your repeated rhetoric and keep your message focused.

I think that’s enough for one morning of advice. Remember, Dale Carnegie once said, “If you want to get something done, look for a busy person.” The task at hand is enormous, and I applaud you for your aspirations. The road ahead is dark and treacherous—good luck.

Oh, and one final point. Don’t start writing a blog that takes pot shots at the media, women or marriage—it will come back to haunt you.

Sincerely,
Gadabout Jack

Friend and Foe

In light of the interest in yesterday’s post dealing with Citizenship, Gadabout would like to take this opportunity to discuss two examples of Friend and Foe that have made headlines recently. Both headlines relate to two adult males. One 27 and the other is 39. The 39 year old is Jerry Yang, a psychologist, of Temecula, California. The 27 year old is Michael Vick, the starting quarterback for the Atlantic Falcons who hails from Virginia.

Until yesterday, Yang was an unknown, he was born in Laos and somehow along the way made it to California, became a psychologist, and took up an interest in playing poker a couple of years ago. Yesterday he won the coveted World Series of Poker tournament and took home a whopping $8.25 million prize (as reported by Ryan Nakashima, AP). That, my friends, is cool! This guy seems to be on a winning streak. What’s this unassuming 5 foot 3 inch Yang going to do with his winnings? Well, for a start he is planning on donating 10 percent to charity. Yep, Make-A-Wish Foundation, Feed the Children and the Ronald McDonald House will be receiving sizable contributions soon. Jerry Yang is a Friend.

Vick on the other hand, is buried in a tortuous and humiliating battle with the Feds over an alleged dog fighting scandal at his Surry County, VA., home (Virginian-Pilot, David Forster and Linda McNatt). This story has been gaining strength for the past month and it looks like the hammer is coming down on Atlanta’s superstar. Dog fighting is scary stuff, to me at least, and some of the details are horrific. I quote from the V-P article of 19 July: “Some of the animals in Vick’s outfit that lost fights or lacked promise were drowned, electrocuted, hanged or shot, the indictment said, and at least one dog was slammed to the ground.”

Now, I don’t know much about Jeff Yang and for all I know he could be an evil dude at heart, but on the surface he seems like a good citizen. Vick? I don’t know much about him either, except that he is has true talent on the playing field and that he enjoys killing dogs. The truth on the dog fighting and dog killing will play out over time, but it doesn’t look good. Vick appears to be a bad citizen.

As a kid, I used to manipulate my magnifying glass to burn ants. I thought that was cool, but I soon passed that stage of evil destruction once I started noticing girls and playing baseball. I’ve never won the lottery or a poker tournament either, but if I ever do most of it, if not all of it, is going to charity. Jerry Yang taught me that lesson. The only lesson Michael Vick taught me is that killing and abusing dogs is bad. I already knew that.

Citizenship

Gadabout has noticed a void in citizenship these days, and he is the first to admit that he has great failings in this area of his life. Citizenship is a value system, and with all value systems it is tested and challenged everyday of our lives. I am not going to get “deep” on this subject, so let’s take a surface approach and have some fun.

People posture for advantages over others on a daily basis. When forced to merge on a roadway when a lane is blocked due to construction or a traffic accident, many drivers will deny merging opportunities. The proper method of citizenship in these occurrences is to use the “zipper” method to account for lane closures. Have you ever intentionally blocked someone’s merge attempts? Yep, I have, and I am ashamed for it. I am no saint, and never will be one, but I try to learn from my mistakes.

How about long lines at, let’s say, the grocery store? A cashier opens up a new lane and person at the END of the line rushes up and cuts off those in front—not nice! Using the Express Lane when you are packing 25 items is a bust in the face of good citizenship also. Yes, I have done this too.

So, you need 2 parking spaces for your shiny new Lexus? Thank you very much! No, I have never done this.

Americans are, in essence, a very good lot. Often times, though, we have lapses in memory and judgment on how to live with one another and maintain harmony, good order and discipline and courtesy. Let’s try a little harder folks, and oh, I almost forgot, flipping me the “Bird” isn’t all that nice! Yes, I have flipped people off too. Gadabout has much room for improvement.

Dog Attack!

The Attacker looked something like this

The Victim resembled this breed

Gadabout witnessed a vicious dog on dog attack at the beach today. I had just spent an hour reading Slaughter-House-Five by Kurt Vonnegut, had packed up my gear and was walking back to the dune pathway when I noticed a hippy looking chick (mid forties, I am guessing) with a powerful looking dog. The hippy chick and her dog were accompanied by what appeared to be the hippy chick’s mother. Or so it seemed. I describe her as a hippy because she wore silver jewelry, a bandana and hemp looking wrist bands. Hippy stuff. So the stage is set with a hippy, a mom and very powerful looking canine.

After just a few steps after noticing the trio, a lonely, unleashed, log haired, over 10 year old female of unknown breed (Gadabout is not interested in specific breeds) rounded the pathway. I immediately sized the dog up as a non threat. Hell, it could hardly walk through the soft sand. Long hair pooch passes me then canters by the short haired beast and in a flash was taken to the ground by the neck. It was a striking scene! It happened in an instant. One moment calm and the next was frenzy with jaws locked on the neck with a body being whipped back and forth. I estimate the weight differential to be 90 lbs vs. 60 lbs. Wow!

Now, hippy chick did have “Spike” on a leash, which is unusual these days, and she was able to pull Spike away. Spike was so strong, our nature girl had to drop to the ground, place both legs apart and plant her heels in the ground, and the lean backwards using all her might to restrain Spike. After about 10 seconds of relative calm, our hippy heroin cracked a vile smile. It was frightful. Gadabout wanted to slap her one, but thought better of it—she did have the dog, remember? I bet she deplores violence, war and republicans. The next time this happens, and the victim is a todler (I pray to God it is not!), we'll see if she takes that pissy grin off her face.

Canine Hostilities, Citizenship and Property Rights

Revenge at Hand

Early morning stroll
Sea air, quiet solitude
Canine attacks me

Gadabout is frustrated with dogs and dog owners. I was taking a morning stroll on the beach this morning, taking in the fresh salt air and admiring the silent power of the Chesapeake bay, when a couple approached walking a filthy mongrel. As we passed I offered a pleasant nod, and in return I was greeted by the untrained mutt leaping and slobbering on me. I was disgusted and pissed off. My meditation was disrupted, I had dog saliva on me and the happy little couple made a few remarks on how unusual the behavior was for “Sparky.” That was an outright lie. They cannot control their animal because they are too stupid and uninterested in taking time and dedicated efforts to train their smelly animal. A few minutes after this molestation, I stumbled across a rather large pile of dog excrement neatly displayed on a perfect sunning area. Thanks, dog owner! This uncontrolled canine activity has to stop, and it is going to stop with Gadabout!

I have a theory as to why there are so many unruly dogs and inattentive dog owners out there. It all begins in college, when young women coeds feel lonely around their junior year. So what do they do to feel comfort and security? They buy cute little puppies, that’s what they do. And after 6 months, those warm little companions turn into full grown crapping machines. These women get in the habit of leaving Sparky unattended all day long, and when they finally return home they simply open the back door and let them do their business in the back yard. On weekends they walk Sparky. Waling Sparky is cute, shows they are down to earth and caring. Most guys accept Sparky, the yard full of crap and the barking because they aren’t going to “get” anywhere if they don’t. The happy couple gets married, have children and the cycle continues. Guys, let’s break this cycle of abuse and denial.

Breaking the cycle begins with citizen rights. Last year Gadabout had two significant dog issues that directly affected his life and property. The first had to do with a psychotic husky cross breed that resided in the condo behind mine. This dog would charge the fence, barking and try to bite anyone walking by. At first I tried dog treats, but that didn’t work. Then I tried avoidance, but that failed too. Finally, I called animal control. When the dog catcher police chick showed up and I introduced her to the situation, she immediately agreed that it was out of hand and ticketed the owners. Initially I felt bad about turning in my unknown neighbors, but I quickly got over it since peace returned to MY home. The second issue was a Rogue Great Dane that would randomly gallop freely around the neighborhood and do its business at will. Nice! This required about 10 calls to animal control to get resolution. The horse no longer resides on my shady street.

In reflection, dog owners are a lot like Muslims; it is difficult to distinguish the god loving peaceful types from those that want to kill you. The point is that from a distance no one knows if your dog is hostile or peaceful, so unfortunately in name of safety we have to assume the worst. Sorry, but it is the truth.

I have cleaned up too many piles off my lawn, been kept awake too many nights listening to a barking mutt and jumped on too many times at the beach to give a pass to ANY dog owner. Owning and caring for an animal is a responsibility—not a right, that’s why animals have to be licensed! So listen up, dog owners, Gadabout and his army are on the watch and will remain vigilant to protect OUR rights as citizens. In my opinion, most of you are good keepers of your animals, but those of you who are abusers will face the consequences of your neglect. Fight's on!