Thursday, June 21, 2007

Pedophile Profiling

One of Gadabout's peers pointed out the fact that pedophiles all seem to drive like vehicles--pedophile vans. Whenever a child is abducted from a bus stop, playground or backyard, a "white van" is usually sited near the kidnapping scene. The van is not always white, but a van seems to be the vehicle of choice for child molesters. If this were the case, then it would seem logical to profile all van owners. Well, not all van owners. Not the soccer moms with their high-end cross over Lexus SUVs. The vans we are talking about are those Ford and Chevy 70's, 80's and 90's conversion vans that have faded paint and rusty fenders. They stick out like a sore thumb, and the only people that seem to own these clunkers are dudes that paint houses, engage in trafficking illegal aliens, deliver pizzas or run obscure home improvement businesses.

Nothing "good" is ever associated with a "pedophile van." When you see one in a parking lot, you would most likely not park next to one. If you happen to pass one on the highway and get a quick look in the side window, you'll most likely observe a shady looking driver and a passenger smoking a cigarette. They might even be drinking beers. Nope, like hanging out at a bar after midnight, nothing good ever comes about with pedophile vans.

When I read in the paper that a lowlife woman let some sleazebag abuse her daughters for a few bucks, I envision a pedophile van with a faded rebel flag bumper sticker. A news story about a couple keeping their son locked away like a dog in a cage for two years--you got it, a white van with dented bumpers. Since pedophile van owners transcend race, gender and religious boundaries, they are ripe for governmental profiling. It is time to be proactive. Let's catch evil before evil acts are committed. We are only a driveway away from preventing crime. Let's get busy.


Anonymous said...

Good thinking. We could all chip in and purchase a neighborhood patrol sketch van and go undercover sting operation on the sex offenders. We can vote on the airbrush paint scheme.

Anonymous said...

Maybe we could buy and sell vans and see who shows up then we have them arrested.