Saturday, June 16, 2007

Weight Loss



The Male Belly

Round and soft it grows
Chiseled by beer and pizza
A trophy of sorts


Gadabout is learning that staying fit and trim as he grows older is becoming harder and harder with each passing day. It used to be easy keeping the belly at bay, but now it has become a real challenge. Feasts of beer and pizza once had minimal effects on the body, but not today. A few miles of jogging and 2 or 3 trips to the gym were enough in my 20’s, but then the 30’s came around and I needed to increase the mileage and reduce caloric intake. Then the 40’s arrived and all hell broke out.

Once you reach the magical 40’s you cannot just add on a few extra jogging miles, bump up the number of sets in the gym, or add extra iron to the bench press; you need to make lifestyle changes. Fifteen miles of jogging and a few sit ups will simply not offset five pizzas, ten cheeseburgers and two cases of beer a week. Throw in a couple good glasses of whiskey, desserts and hotdogs at the ball park, and you’ll be in for a trip to the department store buying an entire new wardrobe. Keeping the lbs off has become a constant struggle, but I am keeping up the good fight.

We’ll label this fight the Gadabout Improvement Program (GIP) and it can work for you too. It is a simple program, so let’s take a closer look.

Walk. Let’s face it, the older you become, the less stress your knees and hips can tolerate. Substitute walking miles for jogging miles. It takes longer to walk a mile, but it burns the same amount of calories. Yes it looks silly, but so does a fat man trying to jog. The longer you are on the road, the less time you’ll have for eating cheeseburgers and drinking beer.

Weight Training. Forget the heavy weights (they hurt) and move over to the machines and lighten the load. Increase repetitions with light resistance. The women hang out in this area of the gym, so that is a special bonus.

Ride a Bike. Pull the old two wheeler out of the basement and take it for a spin in the evening or morning hours. Riding, in conjunction with jogging and weightlifting is cross training, and experts acknowledge that this is a good thing.

Alcohol. Buy the most expensive beer, booze and wine available. This will keep you from drinking like a college student, and keep the pounds off.

Food. Instead of eating an entire pizza, try reducing your intake to three-quarters. The same goes with Super Sizing (always drink Diet Coke). Eat slower. Psychologists have uncovered a nifty fact that the brain takes 20 minutes to realize that the stomach is full. Pull away from the feeding trough and wait a bit before making a second trip the buffet.

Tanning. Tan as much as possible. Yes, there are harmful effects from the sun, like cancer, but tan fat looks like muscle. You make the call.

Gadabout is working the GIP hard, and realizes that the war will not be won overnight. He is going to stay the course, not giving an inch, until the final inches are lost. Are you with me? Fat men unite!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

A fat man trying to jog? That's admirable and takes some guts ... sorry, I couldn't resist. Best of luck on GIP!

Elizabeth said...

I am with you on the GIP! Fatty over here is a prime example of the excessive drinking and horrible eating habbits.... at least 1 pizza a week... its a horrible downward spiral.... HELP!

I will take your advise and let you know how it goes

Jimmy Ray said...

Fat.... When you look in Websters under fat boy you see my picture..... I'm so fat, I think I'll join you on your GIP I need to loose this mass called enlarged beer/coke/hotwings/cheesebuger/powdered donut gut

Gadabout Jack said...

Hey Jimmy Ray,
I thought I lost you there for a bit. I guess you would need the JIP!
vrgj