Coffee Drinkers Seek Unusual Ways to Save

Gadabout had his newspaper nearly stolen today by a fellow Starbucks patron. I was sitting in my prime reading seat adjacent to a traditional Starbucks table. The table was littered with various remnants of the local rag and the Times. Remnants that readers discard; like inserts and the classified section that nobody reads. Anyway, this unidentified Dude made a play for my sports section. “Dude,” I said, “That’s mine.”

I ended up giving it to him anyway since I was finished with it. It was like white collar charity--helping those who cannot help themselves in an environment of rising coffee prices. Gadabout is giving in this way. Gadabout cares deeply for his fellow man, unless they are Muslim Terrorists, of course. I wouldn’t offer my sports section to a terrorist, but I don’t think they read the sports section anyway.

Yep, people are quirky these days, and with prices on the rise Americans are turning to petty theft of offset slender budget margins. I am going to leave my papers at Starbucks in the future. The country depends on it.