Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Gadabout Jack 2008 – Your Polarized Candidate

Gadabout is throwing his hat in the ring for the 2008 presidential elections, and he is asking for your support. All you have to do is “write in” Gadabout J Jack, and you’ll have me at your service as President! It has a nice ring to it; President Gadabout Jack. I like it.

My Platform:

Fixing Social Security. We need to raise additional funds to ensure our seniors are protected against inflated dollars and fixed incomes. I support raising the maximum FICA withholdings tax rate from $97,000 to $150,000, and adjusting this limit each year automatically based on inflation rates. Yes, higher income earners will pay more and not realize an increase in their social security benefits, but that is too bad for them.

Income Taxes. I support the status quo regarding taxation. The IRS isn’t going away so we need to stop fighting and learn to keep manipulating current structures. Capital gains taxes should be lowered to 10 percent to bolster investment. Estate Taxes should remain constant also. Sorry to disappoint you, but someone has to pay the bills and dead people are a perfect target.

Infrastructure. America needs to rapidly and immediately rebuild our highways, bridges, rail systems and airports. Improved transportation systems will improve efficiencies, lower our dependence on foreign oil and save lives. We cannot afford not to invest, in the form of additional debt, to regain prominence in our beloved infrastructure.

Immigration. I believe that walls should be torn down. Mexicans are hard working, Christian, and civilized. We need all the Mexican immigrants we can get our arms around. Envision 20 million new citizens paying taxes, working hard and not causing a lot of trouble. I will tear the wall down.

Education. Higher level education policy remains largely unchanged with the exception that “means” testing will be elevated. Low interest rate loans for millionaires are unacceptable. Subsidized low interest rate loans for the lower classes are unacceptable also. Loans will be at market rates and the subsidy aspect will remain as a grace period after graduation.

The War. America has interests in Iraq and ajacent environs. You kill us, and we'll return the favor. Permanent bases in Iraq are needed in order to send a message to Muslum terrorists that we mean business.

Energy. We need to drill for oil in every corner of our empire to send the Mideast economies into ruin. We'll figure the rest out later after the dust clears.

Medical Care. This plank is under construction.

A vote for Gadabout is a vote for prosperity! Vote for Gadabout Jack 2008.


Alusna said...

Jack, you're on the mark...well, perhaps with the exception of your plan to invite all manner of illiterate, uneducated, disease infested criminal Mexican types to invade our sovereign nation. How about we just force the Mexican government to take care of it's own people so they don't NEED to work here?

Gadabout said...

We’ll teach them how to read and write, the need for good hygiene and respect for the law. Let’s hit the easy button, shall we?

Anonymous said...

So gadabout, how do you suggest we teach the illegals how to read and write, the need for good hygiene and respect for the law since we are doing such a piss poor job of the above with many of our current citizens? And why do I want my tax dollars spent on educating them? How much education do they need to pick fruits and vegetables for me?