Gym Etiquette

Gadabout spends a great deal of his already busy schedule tossing iron around the gymnasium to keep fit and trim. It is sacrifice with rewards – the best kind of sacrifice on the planet. The outcomes from the hard work are important and appealing, but there are setbacks. One of the most irritating setbacks and nuisances of toning and sculpting is the “other dude.” Yes, the other dude who repeatedly violates gym etiquette and disrupts the routine of others.

This morning was no exception with other dude encounters. During this morning’s very productive workout session I was working biceps and shoulders with dumbbells when I noticed this dude sitting on a flat bench about 12 feet north of my position glancing over at me. Glancing is a violation in itself, but I knew something else was going through his pea brain and prepared myself for etiquette violation. It didn’t take long. You see, I was working near an identical flat bench and the “other dude” wanted to use “my” bench. Why is unclear. He just did. “Are you using this bench?” he asked. I wasn’t really using it; I was just working close to it. I told him that I was not using it, but I was thinking was what a dumb ass he is. He was sitting on an identical bench! Being the gentleman I am, I moved my stuff over near his bench and relinquished mine.

There are all sorts of gym violators out in society. There is the grunter, the slammer, the sweater, the meat gazer, machine hogs, I-Pod wearing singers and the list goes on. I think most of these violators will eventually end up in jail or in hell. Hell, maybe both. I say let's steal their identities and ruin their credit.