Monday, August 11, 2008

Screw The Olympics

Gadabout would like to address the Olympics, but first he needs to talk about himself. Currently, Gadabout is in sunny Winter Haven, Florida, flying the mighty Twin Bee multiengine amphibious aircraft of world fame. The photo above is of the actual aircraft being operated daily from the shores of Brown’s Seaplane Base. It takes commanding skills to safely and effectively fly one of these beauties, and Gadabout is excelling on all fronts. God gave us wings to fly. God gave us the gift of anger if we fail the check ride. Think about that.

Okay, the Olympics. All the usual medal counts and pageantry (expect those million or so drummers on opening night – Sort of scared the crap out of me!), but something seems to be missing. Cannot quite put a finger on it. It’s almost like every event I watch is a partial event. Like the end a swimming race that pops up on the news channel. And then there is the President patting everyone on the back, or talking smack about human rights. How about those prissy bikers wearing the black masks through the airport making a “statement.” What was that all about, anyway?

Long Jump -- Yawn!

We need new competitive venues for the games. Long Jump? Okay, that sucks. A dude runs as fast as he can and leaps forth into the fray of the sand pit. Pole vaulting is still cool because they utilize a medieval jousting rod and fling themselves into the heavens. Pole vaulting can stay, but the long jump can walk out the back door and we’ll kick it closed behind them.

The Olympics suck. We need gladiators kicking some serious ass using weapons and shields, who use pole-vaulting equipment to scale walls to proceed to the archery zone to pony up arrows to claim Chinese drummers. The reward? Not only do they receive a medal for surviving, they are offered a hottie gymnastic chick for the week to be used as a hero sees fit. Screw the Olympics.

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