Thursday, July 12, 2007

A Day Late, and a Dollar Short

An Idea Man
Gadabout is disappointed that he is often “late to the dance” with innovations. It happens to all of us. One day you are irritated trying to remove the plastic tab off the top of a to-go coffee cup, and a year later someone invents a better top that provides for easy sipping. You say, “hey, I knew that was a problem, I should have invented that!” Millions of lost revenue! Frustrating.

The latest craze in the soft drink industry is zero-calorie flavored bottled water. For years, I have turned my back to sweet drinks. Since I was a kid I have added lemon juice from those plastic lemon containers into my drinking water. I have even added a packet or two of the “yellow” or “pink” sugar free sweeteners to balance the bitterness. It's better than plain water, no calories, and is refreshing. I missed the boat again, and the answer was right under my nose!

Here is a list of other innovations that I should have profited from:

Tamper Proof Seals
Over the Ear Headphones
Automobile Gas Cap Tethers
Television Financial Networks (still waiting for a War Channel)
Toasters that bagels fit in without getting stuck
Dripless candles
Improved paper plates
Integrated shoulder and seat belts in cars
Caster wheels for refrigerators

This is just a short list off the top of my head. Al Gore invented the internet, and I am sitting here saying, “It could have been.” I have to start writing these ideas down! Michael Keaton, in the 1982 classic Night Shift, was an idea man. “Feed mayonnaise to the tuna!” I wonder how that idea is going?

3 comments:

Mini said...

Hey Gadabout
If planning a pregnancy, what can we do to influence the gender of our offspring.
Thanks from Texas...
Crash, Mini, Money and Shannon

PS- that's a bitch about the tethered gas cap

PSS- Love the sundress poem- Money

Anonymous said...

Gadabout Jack,

I hope you don't ignore the huddled masses in the above post? They need your help. A three some there from Texas? Didn't you not declare you answer your readers questions with, "wit and wisdom." You've been given a question, really a challenge. I certainly hope to see a reply in the form of a post and help these poor people.

You can have tremendous fun with that one. There are a few good starts I can see like Mainlows,"Could it be magic," in that one. Now is the time to break free of the chains that bind you and get rolling with that humor of yours!

My only real problem with your last column is the-- would've, could've should've. Yes, the world is frustrating. Maybe the problem was lack of imagination? No, I think you just didn't dig deeply enough into the recesses of your mind from childhood. Don't forget the inner child.

How could you have forgotten the classics? The million dollar babies. The best were missing from the list! The :) face tee shirts, pet rock and the king of them all, launched in 1980's and still going strong today-- The Chia Pet.I think you should buy the Tuna and feed it mayo to see what happens like Myth Busters.I guess the real question is do Tuna like mayo?

Sorry Gadabout Jack to disagree, but the question above still remains, so help those poor Texans! Texans always need help.

Liv Olsen

Amie said...

A sundress, ahhh yes