How to Influence a Child’s Gender

Creation
Gadabout has been asked for advice on influencing a child’s gender, so to ensure that the Gadabout reading community remains content and happy I’ll address this rather delicate issue. As usual, I spent a hefty 5 minutes on the internet researching and discovering truths. I was shocked at the results of my investigation.

I was under the assumption that if you wanted to influence the gender of a child, the male had to choose wisely as to what type of underwear to wear. The lore surrounding this issue suggests that you need to wear boxers if you are “gaming” for a boy, or switch to whitey-tighties if you are “shooting” for a girl. I am guessing that going “commando” would be similar to boxers, but keep in mind that’s only a hunch.

The internet site, iVillage (http://parenting.ivillage.com/ttc/ttcsigns/0,,toniw_46n8,00.html), offers an opposing theory based upon science. Since Gadabout has a Master’s Degree in Science, he is uniquely qualified to interpret this information and report findings. In summary, a women needs to maintain a close watch on her cervical fluid by keeping records and using charts. The male is not going to do this, so it is up to the female for these record keeping duties. A couple needs to be aware of the peak of the ovulation cycle if they are choosing blue paint for the nursery. It seems that male oriented sperm cells are tiny and fragile, yet very quick; and that female sperm cells are hardier, but slower. So, if a male child is desired, you don’t want competition from the female side of the house:

“Those that adhere to this theory claim that you can improve your chances of conceiving a boy, for example, by timing intercourse one single time as close to ovulation as possible, then not again during the same cycle. The reasoning behind this being that the male sperm would race to their reward much faster than the female sperm. In addition, this will assure that the male sperm have as much access to the cervix as possible. Penetration should be deep at the moment of ejaculation in order to give the males a headstart, while the larger female sperm move slower.”

I am inferring from the above that if you desire a little girl, then the couple should copulate as often as possible, which might be tough if you have been married for a few years and don’t like each other very much any longer. This may be why families start off with girls, then follow with boys later in a marriage. That’s my theory, anyway.

But Gadabout has a question regarding all of this—Why try and influence the “gender” in the first place? Children are gifts from God, and all life is sacred, regardless of gender, race, intelligence, eye color or appearance. Children and families are blessings. My advice is that you leave the matter to the Master of Mystery, and focus on happiness, and a loving and caring home for your family.

Last thought—the underwear theory sounds like more fun since there isn’t any math involved.