Thursday, August 2, 2007

“Fat Guy in a Little Coat”

An Outlaw
Bare Bellied Felon

Shirtless male walks by
Oblivious of manners
Bystanders vomit

Gadabout firmly believes that men should always wear a shirt in public. The only exception to this rule is when you are on the beach and taking a swim. If you are a fat man, then you should immediately put your shirt back on after swimming—period!

It does not matter if you are mowing your lawn on your own property, taking Sparky for a walk on a hot afternoon in August, or taking in a jog to lose weight; you owe it to society to cover that fat, hairy belly of yours. This is “Man Law;” pure and simple.

Too many men, of all walks of life, have been violating this time honored truth of manhood. I see shirtless hillbillies driving pedophile vans; fat-cat, cigar smoking, gold chain wearing New Yorker’s walking on sidewalks; and househusbands sporting bellies galore riding bicycles. I see these disingenuous public displays of nausea every day. This wanton rule breaking of man law is sickening.

Women can help in this matter. Gadabout asks that all women support this rule and change the habits of your pals. Don’t be afraid, you can make a difference by always packing an extra shirt while vacationing, offering a shirt to your man when he is mowing the lawn, or refusing to bike ride with a shirtless friend.

The time for swift action is upon us—let us pray that we succeed in our eternal quest for dignity!


LEE said...

Might I add, a shirt long enough to fit all the way to the pants, even when bending????

Anonymous said...

I agree. I find it most disagreeable to view such men in public. Shirtless is hardly attractive and do we need to see such things really? I should say not.

Liv Olsen

tAFrn said...

Amen, amen I say to you Jack. Equally ick is obese women wearing bikinis or even sports bras on the beach or really anywhere in public.

jimmy ray said...

Just because it fits doesn't mean it looks right!!!!!

As a Fat man, I find it harder to find fat enough clothing.... SO to cover my fatness I am lossing weight..... Guess what I less obsene loking my but crack and belly hanging is less and my blood pressure is lower and my knees hurt less.....

Gadabout Jack said...

Jimmy Ray,
Keep up the good work!

Alusna said...

Hmmmmm...I'm wondering if our creator finds us ugly when not clothed?

Sandy K said...

Jaws, thanks for the dignity pep talk. I just went to Target and bought a 10 pak of T-shirts for Richard!