Sunday, April 27, 2008

Immigration Solutions – Gator Bait

Round up those critters and let’s solve the illegal Mexican immigration problem. That’s the solution posited by Gadabout’s neighbor’s sister. Take all those pesky gators inhabiting Florida that mess with golfers and small pets, and send them off to the Rio Grande. Who needs a wall when you got gators? Got gator?

Unfortunately, Gadabout is a pacifist and cannot endorse such a program despite its obvious flare and potential popularity. Nope, can’t do it. I can’t because I have another idea. An idea seeped in established theory and knowledge, and still incorporates aquatic life forms. Sorry, gator, no tacos for dinner tonight!

Let’s bring in a few thousand dolphins and set them free. Dolphins would populate the Rio Grande and swim with style and grace, calling like Sirens to drunken sailors, and swooning the masses with their laughter and play. Picture all those Mexicans mesmerized by our pals the dolphins, not wanting to cross to the other side. The border patrol will simply cast their nets and pull them to shore for orderly deportation. It would be like Disney World on steroids!

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