Tuesday, December 23, 2008

An Exclusive Interview With The Sarah Palins

Gadabout Interviews Sarah Palin’s Id, Ego and Superego:

Gadabout: So, Governor, the election is over and the ballots counted. You lost. How do you feel about that?

Sarah’s Id: First off, screw you, Gadabout. I feel like crap and all I can think about is beer, whiskey, sex, and moose hunting. I like the taste of blood and there will be plenty of blood in 2112. Note that, you little prick!

Sarah’s Ego: Well, let’s take another view of that. What Id was trying to say is that we, the conservatives in the country, will continue to fight the good fight. Take oil production in Alaska, for instance. Oil production and wildlife coexist in harmony here. Both interests are served equally, and this relationship can and should be used on a national level. We’ll push these legislative ideas forward in the future.

Sarah’s Superego: It is okay that we lost because I come from a good family where the lessons of right and wrong were strongly influenced by my parents. Let’s believe in the president-elect and support the winner of the contest.

Sarah’s Id: Pack sand you Superego bitch. I’m packing heat, and preparing for the fucking kill you little prissy….

Gadabout: Okay, let’s try and keep a little order here. You are all equals in the eyes…

Sarah’s Id: Up yours!

Sarah’s Ego: Hey, Id, like Gadabout said, let’s keep it under check!

Gadabout: Let’s start over. Governor, what are your short and intermediate personal goals in the years ahead?

Sarah’s Ego: Well, you know, my resume was a bit of a nagging anchor during the campaign, so I have decided to finish law school. The University of Alaska has an excellent program and I think I can dovetail both the executive office duties and school concurrently.

Sarah’s Id: What Ego really meant was that during the “inquisition” I was prosecuted by a bunch of self-centered, liberal Kool-aid drinking journalistic ass clown pricks. Yeah, I’ll finish law school and shove that diploma up Katie’s flat ass. That bitch will pay! …Take Caroline Kennedy, for instance. What kind of a resume does that skinny, bulimic, elitist, thumb sucking whore have? I’m waiting! Lock and Load!

Gadabout: Moving along, how about global warming?

Sarah’s Superego: All points of view should be given equal weight, and we should refrain from making harsh judgments. Critical, yes. Criticize, no.

Sarah’s Ego: Let’s take a look at the facts, and the preponderance of the literature supports that warming does exist, but that the causes are natural, not man made. A recent RAND study, published this past November, supports this claim. Solar activity, volcanoes, and dust storms are the likely causes of climate change. These changes are temporary…

Sarah’s Id: I cannot fucking stand listening to this crap. Have you looked out the window or turned on the news lately? The entire country is covered in fricking ice. Louisiana got hammered with eight inches of snow. Solar activity, my ass! And look, I’ve got a great ass!

Gadabout: Let’s talk international policy.

Sarah’s Id: I’m out of here. Like I said earlier, “Pack Sand.”

Sarah’s: Ego: Thank you for your time, Gadabout. Let’s talk again soon.

Sarah’s Superego: Please accept our sincerest apologies for any…

Sarah’s Id: I said we’re out of here, bitch!


Anonymous said...

She does have a great ass!

Anonymous said...

Congratulations, Gadabout. Few, if any, interviewers are able to catch the three aspects of a politcians personality. Most are very effective in covering up their real motives and feelings, but you have succeeded in shining light on the diverse aspects of Sarah's personality. With your interviewing dexterity, you should be able to conduct similar, more revealing exposures of other politicians. I'd love to get a look at Mr Obama's ID.