Saturday, July 31, 2010

Battery Power

Buying batteries is a rip off and it is time that the government gets involved in retailing of portable energy storage devices (PESDs). A recent poll by the Americans for Just Energy Supplies, a nonprofit group based in Wasilla, Alaska, sites anger and distrust of residents towards the sales and marketing of AA, AAA and D sized batteries. “It is a shame that the Obama administration has allowed Eveready and Duracell to monopolize the battery market at the expense of public safety,” said Todd Palin, the founder of the group. He added that, “When I am out drilling oil wells and riding my winter sled, I depend on reliable and inexpensive batteries for my iPod, flashlight and wireless keyboard to surf the Internet. With the rising costs of batteries, and runaway corporate greed seeking nothing but profits, I am forced to use smaller devices while practicing my trade. The government needs to act now and get involved before there is a revolution.”

The Obama administration has shown interest after reviewing the battery industry. In a statement released today by Press Secretary Robert Gibbs it was acknowledged that, “The president is confident that a takeover of the battery industry through fiscal stimulus, a new Battery Czar, and immigration reform was possible if republicans would get onboard.” He also added that, “The president would not rest until the matter was resolved.”


Anonymous said...

Is the Obama Press Secretary, the hapless dumbass Robert Gibbs, battery operated?

Anonymous said...


The myths and mysteries of the human condition continue to mount up and what is your response? You remain idle in the face of calamity. Your readers require commentary, and you are busy playing house. GET TO WORK!!!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the Cheese sandwich Gadabout.

Anonymous said...

Gadabout: Married and child on the way. Will the world ever enjoy the commentary and insight of Gadabout Jack again? Oh, he'll want to compose wit and wisdom for the blog, but more pressing demands will force the blog into recession. At first, it will be diapers and burps. Later, driving the rug rats to soccer practice and sleep overs. Finally, Gadabout will be writing checks to UVA or W&M, far too often to bother blogging. We are watching the end of an era, Gadabout opines no more.