Gadabout witnessed a vicious dog on dog attack at the beach today. I had just spent an hour reading Slaughter-House-Five by Kurt Vonnegut, had packed up my gear and was walking back to the dune pathway when I noticed a hippy looking chick (mid forties, I am guessing) with a powerful looking dog. The hippy chick and her dog were accompanied by what appeared to be the hippy chick’s mother. Or so it seemed. I describe her as a hippy because she wore silver jewelry, a bandana and hemp looking wrist bands. Hippy stuff. So the stage is set with a hippy, a mom and very powerful looking canine.
After just a few steps after noticing the trio, a lonely, unleashed, log haired, over 10 year old female of unknown breed (Gadabout is not interested in specific breeds) rounded the pathway. I immediately sized the dog up as a non threat. Hell, it could hardly walk through the soft sand. Long hair pooch passes me then canters by the short haired beast and in a flash was taken to the ground by the neck. It was a striking scene! It happened in an instant. One moment calm and the next was frenzy with jaws locked on the neck with a body being whipped back and forth. I estimate the weight differential to be 90 lbs vs. 60 lbs. Wow!
Now, hippy chick did have “Spike” on a leash, which is unusual these days, and she was able to pull Spike away. Spike was so strong, our nature girl had to drop to the ground, place both legs apart and plant her heels in the ground, and the lean backwards using all her might to restrain Spike. After about 10 seconds of relative calm, our hippy heroin cracked a vile smile. It was frightful. Gadabout wanted to slap her one, but thought better of it—she did have the dog, remember? I bet she deplores violence, war and republicans. The next time this happens, and the victim is a todler (I pray to God it is not!), we'll see if she takes that pissy grin off her face.
Monday, April 30, 2007
Dog Attack!
Sunday, April 29, 2007
Canine Hostilities, Citizenship and Property Rights
Revenge at Hand
Early morning stroll
Sea air, quiet solitude
Canine attacks me
Gadabout is frustrated with dogs and dog owners. I was taking a morning stroll on the beach this morning, taking in the fresh salt air and admiring the silent power of the Chesapeake bay, when a couple approached walking a filthy mongrel. As we passed I offered a pleasant nod, and in return I was greeted by the untrained mutt leaping and slobbering on me. I was disgusted and pissed off. My meditation was disrupted, I had dog saliva on me and the happy little couple made a few remarks on how unusual the behavior was for “Sparky.” That was an outright lie. They cannot control their animal because they are too stupid and uninterested in taking time and dedicated efforts to train their smelly animal. A few minutes after this molestation, I stumbled across a rather large pile of dog excrement neatly displayed on a perfect sunning area. Thanks, dog owner! This uncontrolled canine activity has to stop, and it is going to stop with Gadabout!
I have a theory as to why there are so many unruly dogs and inattentive dog owners out there. It all begins in college, when young women coeds feel lonely around their junior year. So what do they do to feel comfort and security? They buy cute little puppies, that’s what they do. And after 6 months, those warm little companions turn into full grown crapping machines. These women get in the habit of leaving Sparky unattended all day long, and when they finally return home they simply open the back door and let them do their business in the back yard. On weekends they walk Sparky. Waling Sparky is cute, shows they are down to earth and caring. Most guys accept Sparky, the yard full of crap and the barking because they aren’t going to “get” anywhere if they don’t. The happy couple gets married, have children and the cycle continues. Guys, let’s break this cycle of abuse and denial.
Breaking the cycle begins with citizen rights. Last year Gadabout had two significant dog issues that directly affected his life and property. The first had to do with a psychotic husky cross breed that resided in the condo behind mine. This dog would charge the fence, barking and try to bite anyone walking by. At first I tried dog treats, but that didn’t work. Then I tried avoidance, but that failed too. Finally, I called animal control. When the dog catcher police chick showed up and I introduced her to the situation, she immediately agreed that it was out of hand and ticketed the owners. Initially I felt bad about turning in my unknown neighbors, but I quickly got over it since peace returned to MY home. The second issue was a Rogue Great Dane that would randomly gallop freely around the neighborhood and do its business at will. Nice! This required about 10 calls to animal control to get resolution. The horse no longer resides on my shady street.
In reflection, dog owners are a lot like Muslims; it is difficult to distinguish the god loving peaceful types from those that want to kill you. The point is that from a distance no one knows if your dog is hostile or peaceful, so unfortunately in name of safety we have to assume the worst. Sorry, but it is the truth.
I have cleaned up too many piles off my lawn, been kept awake too many nights listening to a barking mutt and jumped on too many times at the beach to give a pass to ANY dog owner. Owning and caring for an animal is a responsibility—not a right, that’s why animals have to be licensed! So listen up, dog owners, Gadabout and his army are on the watch and will remain vigilant to protect OUR rights as citizens. In my opinion, most of you are good keepers of your animals, but those of you who are abusers will face the consequences of your neglect. Fight's on!
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Gadabout Jack Makes an Apology
Gadabout has received many emails from friends who did not receive an invitation to my retirement ceremony held yesterday, 27 April. It was not my intention to purposefully not invite anyone! I relied upon some emails passed to few people and hoped that the message would make it's rounds electronically. I guess this method did not work effectively. I am sorry for this, especially in light of the numerous invites that I have received over the years from others who personally took the time to invite me to their celebrations.
For those of you that did attend, I am eternally grateful for your fellowship. I think we all had a wonderful time, and I can now confidently face the realities and challenges of civilianship.
Tuesday, April 24, 2007
Running Red Lights—Pros and Cons
Gadabout has made mention in the past about running red lights, so I thought it would be a fine topic of interest and discussion. After some superficial internet research, I was astounded by the depth of information available on the subject, especially as related to traffic cameras installed at busy intersections throughout the country. This knowledge, along with my Master of Science Degree, promotes Gadabout to a traffic light expert!
First off, traffic accidents and related fatalities appear to be heavily weighted to the running of red lights. Thousands of deaths are attributed to red light running each year. Not good. The hazards of red light running have become so extreme that it is currently a major area of discussion at the local, state and federal forums. Lots of attention and resources are being thrown at the issue, and that’s why we are having those pesky cameras installed to spy on us.
Cameras make money! They catch red light runners without much police involvement. Specially trained police officers do review every citation for accuracy before issuing a ticket, but that is a lot less cash than a cop on the beat. Some intersections generate over $1 Million annually. Okay, in the spirit of safety, Gadabout favors this idea, but this is not the end of the story.
There are two general areas of opposition that are important to note—Timing for yellow lights, and rear end collisions. It seems that there are clear cut standards for the length of time a traffic light should indicate yellow based upon speed limits. The faster the car, the longer it takes to stop. Engineers have pretty much figured this stuff out, so just hit the “I Believe Button.” There are also standards for red in all directions to cushion safety factors. The problem is that engineers have shortened yellow timing periods at camera installed intersections in order to increase violation rates. More cash! Both sides seem to argue this point. Anyway, once motorists are informed that red light cameras are in use, they tend to jump on the brakes, resulting in an increase in rear end collisions. This is the ammunition opponents of cameras use to battle Big Brother.
What might the future bring? Well, the literature seems to suggest that increasing yellow light times, in conjunction with cameras is the way to go. If I were a betting man, I would buy stock in the camera companies because it looks like the way of the future! Once they make the yellow timing periods fair, there will be no stopping them. Crap!
So let’s look at safe and fun ways to run red lights, and getting away with it:
- Never run a red light at a busy intersection.
- Always scan the entire intersection for traffic and police before running it.
- Never run red lights with passengers aboard.
- Speed up when a light turns yellow. Remember, it is not considered running a red light (in most states) if the bumper of your car passes through the plane of the intersection while the light is still yellow!
- Become familiar with the timing of lights along routes routinely traveled to determine the best to run.
- Never run a light at an unknown intersection.
- Never run a light with a BAC over 0.05--EVER!
Monday, April 23, 2007
Gadabout, AARP and Retirement
Sacred Ground Where the Retirement Will be Held
Gadabout announces his retirement from the United States Navy! I bought a keg of beer, a few bottles of wine and chow to celebrate this historic milestone in history. The Big Event is Friday, 27 April, at the Oceana Officer's Club, near the Tomcat.
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Buffalo, NY Wrap-up and Lessons Learned
Gadabout Relaxes with Baseball
Gadabout Travel Note. One note from Gadabout concerning travel and the use of elevators when on the road; if you are last on, then you should be first off. Don’t try to be polite at 4:30 AM offering a woman in the back of the elevator with luggage to exit first. Just get off the damn elevator! Shut up and travel.
Gadabout has spent the past 5 days in Buffalo, NY, of all places. I had not spent any time in Buffalo since I was a young boy visiting family—the Browns. Once the Browns moved away from Buffalo in the early 1970’s there was no reason to return, so I never did. I don’t remember much of Buffalo from back then, only hanging out with my cousins during the summer with nothing interesting to do. My older sisters smoked cigarettes they stole from mom and were generally a pain in the ass. My mom and Aunt Marilyn spent their evenings drinking wine—trying to forget their children and rotten husbands. My cool cousins, Larry and Steven, and I played baseball in the street during the day, and spent our nights wishing we were older, and beating up our sisters.
The reason for my return to Buffalo was to help my friend, Rachel, find a house for the next couple of years. She is moving there this summer. I am staying in Virginia. Okay?
Anyway, I had preconceived notions and biases of Buffalo before the journey began. I was told that Buffalo was a place of crime, racial tension and poverty. “Don’t ever LIVE in Buffalo,” was a familiar firm recommendation. I was prepared for the worst, but the preparation was all for naught. Gadabout discovered that Buffalo is a fine place to live. Sure, we found a few places that were not safe and we were steered away from blighted areas where we wouldn’t fit in, but not everyone fits in everywhere in every city. Gadabout has been around the block a few times, and was raised in Detroit proper, so he understands boundaries.
Buffalo even has a presidential assassination under its belt. President William Mckinley was shot twice by Leon Frank Czolgosz (of Detroit no less). It was a nasty wound and he died of a persistent infection. Maybe that’s how the city got its bad rap!
The streets of Buffalo have a Midwestern feel to them—more of a Chicago experience than a New York City rush. We even attended a Bison’s Triple-A baseball game and were pleasantly surprised at the franchise’s professional appearance, ample parking and cheap beer. The one truly unsettling aspect of the ball game was the fifty or so seagulls flying overhead and landing on the field during play. Very Alfred Hitchcock like. The Bison’s lost 5-3 to the Pawtucket Red Sox. I drank beer and ate Buffalo Wings in mourning.
Friday, April 20, 2007
Gadabout is in Buffalo, NY
Gadabout Studies the Mighty Falls
Gadabout viewed the magnificent Niagra Falls yesterday. Weather was fantastic, crowds were down and ice was flowing. Gadabout was amazed by the about of ice flowing down the Niagra River, feeding the Falls. Temperatures were in the high 60's as we watched iceburgs float by.
The top photo shows an ice formation at the base of the American Falls created by freezing mist. Very interesting.
