Monday, August 20, 2007

Mysterious Contrails

One of Gadabout’s readers asked for information on mysterious “contrails” (sometimes referred to as "chemtrails" by the mentally challenged) generated by aircraft. It seems that there is a great deal of interest in contrails and the possibility that the evil United States government is testing chemicals and so forth in the skies above populated areas. Gadabout believes that if it is true that we are testing chemicals in the skies that it would almost be as cool as space aliens and magnetic pole reversals. Sadly, I don’t buy into the hype generated by the gloom and doom bloggers trying to sell fear, panic and ad space.

Contrails are as natural as baseball, hot dogs, apple pie and Chevrolet. Once we starting building airplanes that could make it up to about 25,000 feet, contrails were born. Contrails are the result of ice crystals, small particles of engine gases, pressures and humidity. Sometimes contrails last for very long periods of time when there is a lot of humidity, and shorter periods when there is less humidity. Sometime we see them at sea level in the form of wingtip vortices from landing aircraft. Regardless, contrails are nothing more than thin clouds.

Now let’s look into the conspiracy claims that the government is poisoning the public through the use of aerial refueling tankers. I’ll make a list of talking points:

- Why would we poison the US population when we could easily mess with the Mexicans or Canadians?

- Why would “they” spray during daylight hours and been seen?

- Aerial military tankers sometimes leak a bit of fuel, but it evaporates before hitting the ground. When aircraft “dump” fuel to lighten its landing weight, it is accomplished above 6,000 feet (when possible). This ensures evaporation. Gadabout has dumped more fuel in his lifetime than he could possibly use in his car in a hundred years. Very Cool.

- How could the government keep such a program secret? Let’s face it, military people are human! They like blowing up commies and rag heads--not fellow Americans.

- The winds are very high up in the wild blue. Sometimes they reach 200 knots above 30,000 feet in the winter. That would blow the “poison” in an unpredictable and unscientific pattern.

- The contrail patterns seen in the skies are normally from long lasting contrails that converge over navigational checkpoints, or military operating areas. Both will display a wide variety of shapes and forms.

The bottom line is that contrails are cool, are formed by the influence of mankind’s flying machines, and don’t contain poison. Furthermore, it is doubtful that the government is experimenting on us by dumping substances from the sky.

If you happen upon a strange contrail consider that it may be an aircraft dumping fuel, unusual shadowing effects at or near sunset, an airborne fire, or the government trying to kill us all. Gadabout is here for you--24/7/365.


Stork said...


You are my hero for putting Rock & Rye up as the featured cocktail of the week. As a huge movie quote (and cheap whiskey) guy, it brings to my mind (IMHO) the most famous drink order ever uttered in all of moviedom:

"I'll have a double Rock and Rye and 7 Carlings."
Boone, Animal House

In comparison, "Shaken, not Stirred" is overwrought and pedestrian. By the way, who the F ruins a good Martini by putting Vodka in it and shaking it? If you aren't following me, try this: next time you want a Martini, pour 2 oz. of Bombay Sapphire Gin, whisper the word vermouth in the general direction of the glass, lightly stir in chipped ice, deep six a jumbo stuffed Queen, and take a nice long pull. If that doesn't have you seeing the face of Jesus, I'll become a liberal Democrat and vote for Hillary.

Lets see a blog on classic movie quotes - drink order or otherwise!

Peace out and big ups to J.C.

Gadabout Jack said...

Movie quotes...yes, I see something there...

Anonymous said...

THANK YOU for posting this, Jack! (And I almost missed it today, as I didn't scroll down far enough.) I will pass it along to a most intelligent but dare I say also slightly gullible and untrusting-of-the-government person who's name you know but I won't post here.

Keep up the good work; Love ya!


Jimmy ray said...

You have got to be kidding me... there are people that believe that contrials is the evil US groverment killing us all!!!!! I know, Dick Chaney and Halburten are doing it to us so they can take over the world