Young Families, Crying Babies, Limited Tempers and Meditation

Fragile Silence

Temper tantrum whines
Ineffectual restraint
Meditation lost

Gadabout loves children, but he is annoyed by the noises they make in church (and other public venues for that matter). This issue of crying babies during worship is a touchy one indeed. On one hand a congregation has to accept a family with young children because they need membership numbers, but on the other hand a whiney little brat kid who disrupts services will likely drive short tempered ordinary folks like myself out the door—for good!. Many churches have to walk a balancing act to keep both parties happy. And as you might have guessed, Gadabout has all the answers.

First off, most churches unwittingly bring Disruptive Baby Situations (DBS) upon themselves. By demanding young parents actively participate in services prior to their child’s baptism, pastoral guidelines disproportionately populate gatherings with whiney kids. On top of that, these young parents are proud of their DNA achievements and successful transition into adulthood. “Look at my beautiful wife, children and shiny new SUV; I have arrived. My wife and I are good Christians and are preparing our new family to receive Christ and perpetuate our collective belief system. We represent a strong and bright future, so if you don’t find our minor disruptions acceptable, then that is your problem to deal with.”

Okay, mister proud family man, here is what Gadabout has to say to you. Are you ready? No, I don’t find your cute newborn’s screaming during gospel readings, homilies, or communion very amusing. I find it insulting and destructive. Your depthless struggle to control your screaming kid negatively affects all of those around you. We loath you. Our dark side is exposed, and we start to sin in our minds. We no longer pray for world peace, we collectively pray for your immediate exit. During those endless minutes whilst you fidget and rock your vociferous Terrible Two, the rest of us are filled with a destructive irritability usually only found in traffic jams and endless corporate meetings. Thank you, Mister Family Man! Peace be with you.

I do have a reasonable tolerance level, and am certain that most others do too. I can endure discreet disruptions such as a momentary cry or sob, random gestures and dropping of objects like a Thomas train or coloring book. I absolutely cannot worship in a nursery room though. I plea and petition you for solutions to engender peace and eternal harmony. There shall be no confrontation with Gadabout since we are in a house of the Lord—that would be unacceptable. So I ask that you please take your child to the lobby, or other area where their whines and ear shattering screams of pain cannot be heard. Please, I beg of you.

God, Inc - Episode 1

Gadabout believes this is hilarious. Go to youtube and watch all the episodes!

I'm a Christ Follower (Mac vs. PC Parody) Part 01

I might make a few enemies with this, but it flows with the below. Gadabout is not trying to offend anyone!

The Bizarre World of Bumper Stickers

As a passenger on my drive back from Alexandria this past weekend I had an opportunity to take note of the remarkable variety of bumper stickers on cars these days. Bumper stickers have always been part of American culture for as long as I have been around, but the shear number and unusual nature of these stickers appears to have taken off exponentially lately. There seems to be a theme for just about any belief system and personal achievement available and I have determined that this topic is worthy of Gadabout scrutiny.

Gadabout does not personalize his own vehicle with stickers, decals or commercialized license plate frames. I guess it just does not turn me on, but I find the “bumper sticker” craze fascinating. Our love for personalizing cars may be an undocumented hidden cottage industry worth over a billion cold ones. Wow!

There seems to be several personality categories for discussion:

Political Loyalty—I find these two bifurcated groups interesting, especially when a loser party or candidate is left on a bumper or back window many years after an election. These individuals most likely represent the extreme left and right.

Boasters—Braggers out there in force. “My Child is an Honor Roll Student.”

Achievements—University stickers, Laws Schools and Medical Schools.

Goth—Witches and Druids.

Angry Lower Incomers—“My Kid Beat Up Your Honor Roll Student.”

Caring—Support Our Troops!

Green Minded—Several of these are interesting since they are mounted on junk cars. “Say No To ANWR!”

Been There—Stickers from every state and national park in the nation.

Redneck—Honk If You’re Horny!

Angry Redneck—Back Off Or I’ll Blow Your Ass Off The Road!

Young and Hip—Oval three letter identifiers for popular vacation spots.

Drug Users—Make it Legal Now!

Morons—They’ll put any possible sticker they find without any noticeable theme.

Sure, I’ll advertise your product—Endless variations here.

Go online and check out the endless possibilities. Americans seem hungry for venues to speak out and voice their opinions, and bumper stickers may be an unrecognized and underappreciated food for the masses. Interesting.

The Myth of Hybrid Automobiles

Gadabout is uncovering one of the greatest shams of all time—the touted efficiency of Hybrid (gasoline/electric) automobiles. This research all began when I recently sold my boat a few months ago and questioned my personal need for my Chevrolet Trail Blazer. The Trail Blazer is a fantastic set of wheels, but averaging 18 mpg for mixed driving seemed like a waste of fuel and cash, so I started looking into alternatives to avoid giving the bad guys American cash for overpriced oil. Yes, Gadabout cares!

I have always been impressed with my friend’s Pontiac Vibe. It is roomy, gets good mileage, has some pep and doesn’t look too much like a chick car. Then I noticed all those Toyota Priuses (Gadabout only buys American) out and about, so I looked into the hybrid idea. I was shocked at the results of my research. Hybrids are a hoax feed with fear of global warming. People who buy and drive hybrids do so to make a green social statement indicating that they are doing their part in reducing green house emissions and oil consumption. Hybrids are a waste of money, and over time I believe the truth will be told. But for now, it is up to Gadabout to inform the world and dispel a monumental myth.

Let’s just take a look at the basic facts of the Prius and compare it to the Toyota Corolla and the Pontiac Vibe. Since Hybrids sell for a premium, comparable models sell for much less for about the same size and performance. The savings can be applied to a cash reserve to pay for gas over a period of time. I was interested in discovering when the total outlay of cash coincides over a period of miles driven. In other words, the break even point. The data shows break even points accounting for $2, $3 and $4 dollar per gallon gas. All price information was gathered from Kelly Blue Book for price and mpg estimates.

2007 Prius $23,690—55 mpg
2007 Corolla $14,925—slightly smaller vehicle, but comparable interior space, 36 mpg
2007 Vibe $17,345—slightly larger vehicle, but better performance, 30 mpg

Prius vs Corolla ($8765 cost differential)—break even mileage table:

$2 per gallon gas = 456,510 miles
$3 per gallon gas = 342,382 miles
$4 per gallon gas = 228,255 miles

Prius vs Vibe ($6,345 cost differential)—break even mileage table:

$2 per gallon gas = 264,462 miles
$3 per gallon gas = 175,824 miles
$4 per gallon gas = 132,231 miles

That’s right, you would have to drive a Prius 456,510 miles (using $2 gas) to hit a break even point if you would have instead bought a Corolla. Okay, you might say that that is fine because you were saving the environment from harmful gas emissions by going green with your Prius friend. Read on!

Hybrids have 2 power sources; an internal combustion engine and a heavy duty battery pack. Hybrids save fuel by shutting down the gasoline engine with the car is at rest, and accelerating the vehicle to speeds of around 30-40 miles per gallon. The battery is charged through braking (very cool idea) and via a somewhat conventional approach using the gas engine (puts a load on the power system and reduces mpg). In theory and in practicality this has proven to be a real winner and does, indeed, save gasoline. But there is a problem with all of this and it revolves around that nasty little battery pack. You see, the battery loses its ability to hold a charge over time, requiring more and more juice from the car’s engine. Take a cell phone for example. Over time you need to charge it up more and more often, and the usable talking time is less and less over time. The batteries in a hybrid lose their ability to hold a charge over time too and require replacement after about 100,000 miles. Toyota doesn’t like to talk about battery life, or replacement costs. Factory tests show that they can last as long as about 160,000 miles, but they stand firm with at least 100,000 miles under actual operational conditions.

How much does a replacement battery cost? Glad you asked. The literature suggests about $3,000 for the part alone. Most likely more to have it installed and for disposal of the old battery. There are several points to be made with this battery discussion, so I’ll summarize:

- Even if a battery lasts 160,000 miles, it will need to be replaced for at least $3,500
- The mpg for a hybrid will decrease over time as the battery degenerates so the figures in the tables above will not reflect truth
- A hybrid will drive just fine with a bad battery—it will simply use the gasoline engine
- What are the hazards of these thousands of replacement batteries on the environment?

Closing statements of findings:

Because of limited battery life, the Prius will NEVER break even in cost with the Vibe or Corolla with $4 per gallon gas—EVER!

If batteries are not replaced when required, then all hybrids will NOT save fuel.

I did not factor in tax credits for hybrids since there are usually factory and dealer incentives for other comparable vehicles.

Hybrid drivers enjoy other benefits such as HOV access even if their battery pack is exhausted. This annoys me.

We don’t know the environmental impact of battery disposal.

Hybrids incorporate many weight savings and performance measures such as aluminum frames and special tires (that don’t last as long and produce less traction and louder road noise).

Better batteries are being designed and produced, but until replacement costs are lowered to about $1,500 consumers will be reluctant to replace exhausted units.

Diesel engines are on the way which will likely increase mpg by as much as 10-15 %, thus making the hybrid debate even more dubious.

The touted 55 mpg for the Prius is a high estimate. The proud Prius web sites that I checked out indicate around 50 mpg as an honest number. I don't know about the Corolla, but my Vibe friend believes the 30 mpg estimate is dead on.

Gadabout believes you should shun hybrids until battery replacement costs are significantly reduced, the cost of gasoline nears $7.00 per gallon, and we figure out what to do with all the dead batteries. Once again—dispelling myths for the betterment of all mankind.

Gadabout Fans are Going to the Show

I have recently purchased dot com domains for “askgadaboutjack” and “gadaboutjack.” Not sure which I’ll pick when we move up to the majors (the show), but I’ll keep you informed. In the meantime you can Google “Ask Gadabout Jack” and the first choice in the list generated will be this blogspot.com blog, which I find very cool.

Holy Week

Since it is Holy Week, with Easter just a few short days away, I’d thought I’d share with you a few of my perceptions and beliefs encompassing this sacred time in the Christian calendar. Many of you might find this difficult, if not impossible to believe, but Gadabout finds a great deal of peace and spiritual awareness during Lent and its conclusion of Holy Week and Easter. My hunger for the communion is never greater than during these few weeks. For me, it is a period of reflection and harmony, a time of stillness and prayer, and an opportunity for self examination.

The forty-six days of Lent is the center piece of beliefs and remembrances of sacrifice, the crucifixion and rising from the dead. Beginning with Ash Wednesday, we are reminded of the sacrifices made by Jesus on his lonely journey. On Palm Sunday, we read the Passion of Christ and relive the Gospels as written by Luke, Mark, John and Matthew. These are powerful accounts and are very emotionally challenging for me because of the overwhelming presence of the Holy Spirit I feel surrounding me when reading them.

With Holy Thursday (today), we are brought into Christ’s final teachings at the last super with the washing of the feet (a powerful tradition and teaching) of the Apostles, prediction of the betrayal of Judas and the institution of the Holy Eucharist. Whenever I hear the words, “do this in memory of me,” I am brought to my knees.

Tomorrow, we will observe Good Friday, when we acknowledge the horrific suffering and death of Christ on the cross, and the fulfillment of the prophecies. This Sunday, we cheerfully celebrate a risen Christ and a new beginning for all.

I am not a model Christian and catholic, but I do believe in the mysteries and cherish our centuries old traditions of peace and a risen God. This is an immensely important and historic time in our Christian calendar. Try taking a moment to reflect on your own personal beliefs and what Easter means to you and for all mankind.

The Middle Class

What is the middle class? Is it growing, or is it shrinking? Politicians, mostly Democrats, insist that there is a widening gap between the rich and poor. This “gap” has always confused me since it seems intuitive that over time (accounting for inflation) those at the top end of the social-economic ladder would have higher incomes than those with NOTHING. This is easy math that does not demand the use of a calculator.

Before I go any farther, let me make it abundantly clear for all that I do believe there are people in the USA in poverty, who need help, and we should address their unique situations in a humanitarian manner. I don’t believe the picture is rosy, but I also believe that we are much better off in this country than at any other point in our history. Okay?

Now, Gadabout looked over some statistics from the census bureau department of labor statistics and found that there is no real definition of the middle class. I also went up several blogs and websites from nonprofits, institutes and various other agencies and was left confused. Generally speaking I found that:

- Poverty is defined as household incomes below about $25,000 per year
- The middle class is somewhere around $45,000 to $75,000
- The top 1 percent of households have income above about $340,000

Let’s look at military pay scales since that is what I am familiar with. A married E-1 (the lowest enlisted rank), not yet qualified to swab a deck, makes:

$15,612 Base pay
$6,324 Housing allowance (not taxed)
$3,360 Subsistence allowance (not taxed)
$600 Sea pay

Total = $25, 896 Sort of neat how that comes out above the poverty level! Now, this enlisted person could make much more if in a combat zone and is separated from his family.

Now let’s look at an E-3, a rank that can be easily attained after just one year of service. Remember, we are talking about a 19 year old with very little experience—the annual income amounts to $29,124—not bad for being fully qualified to push a broom.

How about a junior officer, and O-1 in flight school, running around lighting his hair on fire and drinking beer--$42,024. Wow, that’s not bad for a 2.2 GPA from a marginal university!

My point here is that it doesn’t take a whole lot of talent or effort to break out of the defined poverty level and move up through the ranks of the “middle class.” But Gadabout takes issue with “definitions.” First off, I think it would be very hard to raise a family on less than $40,000 per year. That would be the barebones minimum, so I am now setting the poverty line at $40,000 per year. After taxes, you’re looking at $30,000 per year tops. Subtract $15,000 for housing, $7,000 for cars (gas included), $5,000 for food and you are left with $3,000 for everything else.

My new income scale, commonly known as the Gadabout Income Distribution Scale (GIDS):

Poverty: $40,000 and below
Working Class: $40,000-$100,000
Middle Class: $100,000-$150,000
Upper Middle Class: $150,000-$250,000
Lower Rich Class: $250,000-$500,000
Middle Rich Class: $500,000-$750,000
Upper Rich Class: $750,000-$1,000,000
Lower Royalty Class: $1,000,000-$2,000,000
Middle Royalty Class: $2,000,000-$5,000,000
Upper Royalty Class: $5,000,000-and above

I think that if an individual is capable of working, then there is no apparent reason why they shouldn’t be able to avoid poverty and move up the scale. As for the middle class, I really don’t know, but it seems like there are plenty of BMW’s cruising the highways these days. Help me out here? How healthy is the middle class in America? I’d like to hear from you.

Bill Murray - Kill Golfers

An American Classic

Gadabout plans on posting Classic movie clips from time to time. It is hard to believe that Caddyshack hit the silver screens 27 years ago.

Gadabout Hates Traffic Signals and wants to save the world

Gadabout Jack is incensed concerning poorly timed traffic signals in cities, and how these antiquated systems are wasting billions of dollars in fuel, contributing to green house gas emissions and causing agitation to already frustrated drivers. If you have ever stopped at just about every red light on your way to the office, feeling the blood pressure in you heart pump to extreme levels, then you might want to stay with me.

America’s traffic signals received a poor grade of D-, according to the findings of the 2005 National Traffic Signal Report Card, a report published by the National Transportation Operations Coalition (NTOC). This report concludes that if municipalities upgraded their traffic signals and surveillance related equipment that a savings of 25% in commuting time, a 10% fuel consumption reduction (18 billion gallons of motor fuel), and a 22% percent reduction in harmful greenhouse gas emissions could be achieved.

Okay, where is the outrage? Why isn’t our neurotic ex vice president Gore out there hammering city government? 18 billion gallons of gas is no insignificant amount. Heck, saving half that amount over the next 10 years would make a lasting impression with our national goals of efficiencies. Why? Because it is easier to take aim and pull the trigger on General Motors, a corporate giant, guilty of many crimes against humanity, than to place blame on thousands hometown heroes, housing millions of bona fide voters. It would be like trying to herd angry cats—it’s just not going to work. GM is an easy target, and the thousands of municipalities across the fruited plain may have their feelings hurt if someone, or some organization, were to point out that their traffic engineers and road systems suck, and are the true culprits of global warming. And spending precious tax revenues on traffic lights won’t cure world hunger, won’t recognize a teacher of the year, and is simply not sexy enough to hold anyone’s attention. This is a shame, eternal shame!

So, we need better roads, so let’s increase taxes by use of tolls to pay for them! Bad idea! Toll roads have their place in contained venues where their use can be helpful, but they usually fail miserably in safety, fuel efficiencies and in raising revenues. Toll roads are typically 50% efficient. That is, for every dollar collected, only 50 cents is left over for use after personnel costs, equipment and administration overhead are covered. Conversely, an increase in the gas tax would be 100% efficient since it is already in place and no additional administrative support structures would be required. The problem is that our elected elite don’t want to raise taxes, because they want to be reelected, and for some strange reason the inclusion of toll roads is not considered a new tax—it is a toll! Come on, get with the program.

You want save money at the pump, reduce green house emissions and spend less time commuting? Then start recognizing what waste looks like, stop bashing GM, say no to tolls (my God they do suck), and demand better city management. Do I have to save the planet all by myself? Get off your lazy butts and start making America a better place to live.