Tattoo Mania

Gadabout has been observing tattoos, and has noticed an accelerated upward trend occurring across all segments of society. Tattoos are no longer symbols of adventure and daring exploits adorned upon the biceps and forearms of returning sailors and soldiers from exotic far reaches of the globe. Nor are they sole symbols of power worn by biker guys threatening innocent family vacationers. Nope, not at all, it is a craze sweeping the nation, and you might be surprised by who is voting yes for durable body art.

Gadabout’s mum always warned, “If you get a tattoo, honey, you’ll never be able to have it removed.” To which I would reply, “Yes, mother, I know, I understand completely." Today, many mothers are getting tattooed. Not trailer park mothers, mothers that drive SUVs, check books out from the library and bake pies. An extraordinary shift in beliefs has skyrocketed over night, right in front of our noses. This trend has longer legs than the cigar craze of the 90’s, minivans of the 80’s and flavored bottled water combined!

Yes, I know what you are thinking and the answer is NO. Gadabout does not have a tattoo, and not because of any deep rooted belief or value system, but because I don’t know what I would want tattooed on my body. It just doesn’t appeal to me. Sure, I have considered it, but the question always gnawed as to what would be cool or desirable. It is like opening a menu at a Mexican restaurant and not really being hungry—too many choices and not enough appetite. But after drinking a few beers and frosty margaritas, hunger starts knocking.

Alcohol and tattoos go together nicely, almost as good as alcohol and tobacco, or alcohol and driving. A few years ago, one of my buddies had our squadron insignia tattooed on his butt cheek after a hard charging night of drinking in Key West. I don’t think his wife favorably embraced the artwork upon his return home. Oh well, it was a hell of a night and am certain it has made for a few laughs with the ladies after the divorce. My brother has a tattoo. He had the Greek letters of his fraternity tattooed on the inside of his ankle. Cool.

Other tattoos are cool too. Another buddy of mine has a twin brother, and the two of them had the “twin” symbol tattooed on identical locations upon their chests. I thought that was cool. Some choose symbols of accomplishment like if they complete the “Iron Man” triathlon, defeat cancer or overcome overwhelming odds and succeed. All of this is understandable to Gadabout, but what is confusing is the extreme nature selected by many. You have all seen what I have seen—entire legs and arms covered with mythological creatures, thorns and swords or an entire chest covered by multiple symbols, shapes and messages.

Gadabout is confused. Gadabout is seeking answers. Gadabout is not getting a tattoo anytime soon. Gadabout will report back on this very important topic.

Garage Sales

Gadabout woke up this morning to find that the neighborhood was hosting a garage sale. The house next to mine is vacant awaiting renters, so at first glance I thought new neighbors were moving in. Not the case, the vacant driveway was being used as a staging area. Since Gadabout is not an active garage sale person, I took the opportunity to see what stuff people get rid of, profiles of buyers and what sells. It was all very enlightening. It was like an expedition.

Now, I should mention that I was a little late to the party since I made a Starbucks run first off and read the paper before making my rounds and asking questions. It was during my initial rounds that I was informed most of the action was over by 9 o’clock, so the vast majority of good selling items were already sold. Darn it!
Even though I was a bit late, I still was able to make keen observations. I noticed that people expose themselves at these sales. Lifetimes of memories are carelessly stacked along a driveway for all to see. What was personal and protected yesterday, is now discarded today. Soulless and now nearly homeless relics of a distant past rest in silent disgrace. Books once bought and read, discarded pictures that no longer decorate walls, cameras that once recorded family histories, televisions replaced by newer flat screen models, VCRs and VCR players, clothes, and snow skis can all be found at a garage sale. Sadness and loneliness.

What do people do with all the "gems" they pick up at these sales? Are they resold on ebay? Is there a trading marketplace that I am unaware of? Do buyers actually keep some items and use them in their homes? A surfboard sold for $75, and I thought that high. The televisions weren’t moving at all—not even for $10! I was informed that some clothes moved, and I personally saw some paperback books being bought for a nickel. The mystery remains.

Gadabout wasn’t just a few hours late to the garage sale, he was 40 years late. This is a slice of Americana that drifted by unnoticed to an uninterested eye for many years. Unrecognized in a similar fashion as when after 20 years of listening to a song on the radio, a sudden epiphany of the lyrics occurs and awareness is attained. Gadabout attained awareness this morning on another unique aspect of the American landscape. I am keeping my eyes wide open these days; capturing, seizing and understanding the fabric that binds us as a nation. I do this unselfishly for all of you.

Same-Sex Marriage

Gadabout, like all of you, has read the many news articles outlining the continued debate over Gender-Neutral Marriages. Massachusetts passed a same-sex marriage law and a few mayors and defiant clergy have chimed in allowing and performing “official” ceremonies. During camera worthy moments, these stories make the evening news and talk shows where extremists from both sides square off. It always makes for an interesting diversion. Add Ann Coulter to the mix, and you’ll be treated to a real circus.

Now, this issue is a hot button topic for a lot of players, and the legal implications appear far reaching. Far reaching in two general areas—financial effects (health care for partners, etc.) and religious values. Other factors relate to children and various legalities, but in the end it is really all about cash and God. Big players, indeed.

Gadabout doesn’t care either way, and I believe most of America doesn’t care much either. Simply put, I support marriage for all Americans. Hey, if a gay couple decides to get married and ruin a perfectly good relationship, so be it. Look, people tend to fall in love and when they do, society promotes the institution of marriage to legitimize cohabitation. Yes, the pressures of society have subsided over the past few decades, but marriage is still a firmly established dream for a lot of people, regardless of sexual orientation. It is my opinion that with growing trends towards toleration of non male/female relationships, then same-sex marriage is inevitable. And with that I would like to say good luck and welcome to the out of control marriage and divorce industry.

Half of all marriages end in divorce, and the other half in death. Either way, it is a giant money maker for the industry. The average cost of a wedding is $30,000. That’s enough for a 10% down payment on a sweet $300,000 home in the burbs. But our little princesses demand celebrity status for a day, and daddy is expected to pay. Most of you have an idea of the costs so we don’t need to labor over details. Four years later the lawyers, marriage counselors, real estate brokers and a laundry list of others rake it in during the divorce. The marriage industry is a $160 billion plus annually, and cost and heartache of divorce is greater. Gadabout speaks from experience here.

So, for all of you out there campaigning for same-sex weddings, welcome to the club of financial misery. The economy will be lifted to new highs with a fresh crop of customers! It is the American way! Open the champagne and pass the cigars!

Naval Aviation Inefficiencies—Part 1

Gadabout has seen much inefficiency in the military throughout his humble career, and since he is now retired he will share some of these issues with the reading public. Now realize that this is not whining on behalf of Gadabout, because he openly shared his views within the Navy while on active duty. Also realize that I firmly believe that the United States military establishment is first rate, the finest in the world and is tough as nails. The DOD is most likely the best run bureaucracy in the nation, but there is always room for improvement. Most of my observations will be naval aviation centric and will only lightly touch on the many unavoidable political pressures mounted by the legislative branch.

During this segment Gadabout addresses pilots, and how the navy has failed to fully optimize this segment of its manpower base. You must understand that it takes a rather large investment to train a pilot and it is even more expensive to train carrier based pilots. Of all the various aircraft the navy operates, TACAIR pilots require the most training and accordingly are the most expensive to train. The aircraft are expensive, maintenance requirements are extensive, replacement parts and engines are very high tech, and pilot training requirements are extreme. TACAIR pilots must be proficient in air-to-air, air-to-ground, close air support, in flight refueling, and carrier landings. Lots of stuff! Other carrier based aircraft usually have multiple crew members to divide workloads (E-2—5, EA-6—4, S-3—3) and have narrower mission areas. The F-18F has 2 crew members, one pilot and one naval flight officer, but most pilots are trained to flow back and forth between 1 seat and 2 seat variants.

Now, of all the mission areas mentioned above, carrier landings is the most critical. So critical, in fact, that a disproportionate amount of training and expense is dedicated to carrier landings. It makes sense, if you cannot land back at the ship at night, it doesn’t matter how many bridges you blow up or how many bad guys you shoot down. The aircraft must land safely! What is unfortunate is that many pilots do not make the grade with landings and are forced to leave their communities; most never to fly again. These lost souls are often referred to as “broken toys” and are branded as such for life. Sure, pilots “wash out” for other reasons too like being unsafe and reckless, personal problems, or failures in other mission areas. But most of them are still qualified pilots and can safely fly less challenging aircraft, but opportunities for transitions are limited. Why? Because other communities don’t want to accept failed pilots. Failed pilots moving to an “easier” aircraft sends a message to the “easier” community a negative message that their value is less than another’s. Simple.

Another barrier is that training tracks are so tightly controlled that there is little wiggle room to fit a broken toy into another airframe. If there is no room at the inn, then it is hit the road for the homeless pilot. It is simply too much trouble and interrupts planning cycles to re-detail them, so they either end up on an aircraft carrier serving in a meaningless billet until they can be processed for release from active duty or are simply discharged. These pilots, after millions of dollars of training, are tossed into the gutter year after year. Gadabout has seen this first hand many times.

My point is that many of these pilots could have made successful transitions to other aircraft (and in all fairness, some have), but timing, budgets and other concerns made it impossible to do so. Just because a pilot had problems landing on a carrier or fighting the jet under G doesn’t imply that they could not make it as a first rate patrol pilot. How about the Air Force? There are multiple aircraft that demand pilots, but there is no viable intra-service agreement in place for the Air Force to accept navy pilots in semi-awkward circumstances. In this sense, the navy seems to be expending manpower in wasteful fashion. Okay, break out the big guns and start shooting away at Gadabout!

Next segment: Aircraft Carrier Manning

World Oil Consumption Sham

Gadabout has been running the numbers on world oil consumption trends as related to population statistics, and the numbers tell a different tale than what we are led to believe. Americans have been labeled as oil abusers because we consume a disproportionate amount of the world’s oil supplies. This is a true fact when contrasting one country against the next using descriptive data, but the trends are shifting towards a leaner America.

First off, there are a few factors that should be noted concerning the USA before looking at consumption, production and import data. The USA is nearly 100 percent industrialized, meaning that we don’t use mules to plow fields and such. The USA is a rather large country with population centers established at great distances from each other, resulting in consumption patterns unlike smaller countries. Lastly, America is a wealthy country, and wealth engenders consumption beyond what is minimally required for national efficiencies; meaning that additional activities such as boating, flying, and lawn maintenance, ATVs skew the data. Skewed, because other countries are catching up with the USA in wasting oil at the same time the USA is scaling back. Other factors include tourism, domestic illegal immigration population, and guest workers and students; all of whom disproportionately consume American oil.

The United States is the number 3 oil producer in the world, behind number 1 Saudi Arabia and number 2 Russia. The USA produces roughly 7,000 thousand barrels (t/bs) daily, 3,000 less that Saudi Arabia; and consumes 20,000 t/bs daily. Proportionately, this equates to 24% of the world’s daily consumption. Wow, Gadabout uses about 18 gallons a week in his Chevy Trail Blazer!

“Okay, Gadabout, what is your point?” you say. Well let’s look at some facts:

USA oil consumption dropped 1.3 percent in 2006 from 2005. In fact the 20,589 t/bs a day was LESS than 2004. USA consumption has only increased by less than 1 % a year since 1996, while our annual population growth rate is nearly 2 %. Maybe Americans are beginning to conserve!

Let’s look at 2006 numbers and calculate national consumption rates per capita. For the USA we would divide 20,589 t/bs (20,589,000) by 301.1 million = 0.068 barrels per capita per day.

Daily Per Capita Consumption:

USA 0.068
Canada 0.067 (those silly Canadians)
Japan 0.041 (they are small people)
China 0.006 (they still use mules)
UK 0.029 (small country with nowhere to go)
Germany 0.032 (very efficient people)
Australia 0.042 (catching up)
South Korea 0.053 (how can this be?)
France 0.031 (probably lying)
Switzerland 0.036 (no opinion)

As you can see, America is not the oil bandit that the world makes us out to be, and with our per capita trend DECLINING the big picture is favorable for the future. China’s oil demand has increased 100% over the past 10 years compared to less than 10 % for the USA.

The USA will continue to show declines, and the declines may actually accelerate during the next 10 years. One of the USA’s biggest problems is the continued use of heating oil used in the northeastern area of the country. This consumption sump must trend downward through increased use of alternate sources. Noteworthy is the fact that Americans are driving more efficient cars, and with the explosion of hybrids and next generation diesel engines, we’ll likely see significant declines in per capita consumption. Our airlines are saving fuel (those full planes are a pain in the ass, but it is effective) too. Watch out world, once again the good ole US of A will be leading the charge on efficiency! Don’t let the pundits confuse you—Gadabout is here to dispel myths and uncover truths!

Lower the Legal Drinking Age!

Gadabout has always taken interest in past adjustments to the legal drinking age. Our country has shifted from no drinking laws, to prohibition, to 21 years of age, to 18 years of age, and then progressively back to national mandates of 21 years. When Gadabout was 19 years old when the drinking age in Michigan changed from 18 to 21, leaving Gadabout a criminal if he was to partake of the forbidden fruit. Legal one day, illegal the next. Silly, really.

It is silly that a 20 year old bride cannot sip a glass of champagne on her wedding day. Even sillier that a soldier, returning from battles overseas can be tossed in jail for drinking a cold one on a Sunday afternoon. America has the highest legal drinking laws on the books throughout the entire WORLD. Most countries, if they have any laws whatsoever, are 18, and only a sprinkling at 19 and 20. Neo prohibitionists support a 21 year law, but the research does not appear to support their claims that actual consumption is reduced in either youths or adults.

Gadabout’s position is that alcohol should be kept out of the hands of school age youth. When the drinking age was 18, high school juniors and seniors would buy beer and booze in bulk and provide for 16 and 17 year olds. Today, those crafty high schoolers magically manage to score booze in great abundance—and other illegal substances to boot. This often results in binge drinking, leading to some ugly outcomes.

The solution? Gadabout proposes that the legal drinking age be lowered to 19 years. 19 years so as to keep legal drinking out of schools. Most would agree that students should be shielded from legal drinking. But I have a trick up my sleeve regarding a 19 year law, and that is that a 21 year law remain in place to purchase alcohol over the counter. That’s right, you would still need to be 21 to buy a 12 pack at the local convenience store. 19 and 20 year olds could drink legally, but only by servers who can check IDs and hopefully control bingeing behaviors. Reflect on this idea for a few moments and envision the compromises and possible positive outcomes. “Legality” under controlled conditions utilizing a buffer age period, while at the same time keeping alcohol out of high school. Drivers license laws have incorporated “buffer” time periods related to restrictions until certain milestones have lapsed. Why not alcohol consumption?

Gadabout believes that if an up and coming politician were to properly frame this alcohol drinking age debate, he or she might see an overwhelming showing at the polls. Regardless, it seems time to address the issue once again. Let the debates begin!

Term Limits--The Time Has Come

Gadabout has not read the volumes written by the “Founding Fathers” of this great nation, but has spent a few days while in graduate school looking over a speck of the works by Madison, Jefferson, Adams and a few others. Even though I freely admit not being a scholar of the “Founding Fathers” I cringe whenever I hear someone making an argument or stating opinion based upon the “Founding Fathers” motivations, since these self proclaimed knuckleheads have no scholarship in these historical matters whatsoever. Show me your law degree, supported by a master’s degree in American History and I’ll listen up. If you are simply coughing up unsupported facts collected from three hours of radio talk shows a day, then back to the books for you. Gadabout knows enough from formal schooling to know when to shut his pie hole, and so should most of America.

Okay, back to my point, term limits, and how Gadabout believes that our system is flawed. I don’t know what the Founding Fathers had in mind regarding term limits or lengths of terms for elected officials, and I don’t care, because I have devised a better system of governance than is in place today.

I am proposing an 18, 24, 12 plan for the House, Senate, and President respectively:

House of Representatives should be limited to 18 consecutive years of service. If so desired, a member of the House, after vacating a seat may be allowed to once again run and serve another 18 years if elected. But the string must be broken and the incumbent must yield his/her seat and reset the clock. The term length for a House member should be lengthened to 3 years so as to avoid the ridiculous every other year campaign cycles. These endless campaign cycles disrupt law making and promote inefficiencies. Let’s face it, House members, for the most part, are hacks and criminals, so limiting them to 18 years may not be such a bad idea. Giving them a shot at reelection after a break may be desirable for those proven worthy, and for those not worthy hopefully they’ll be canned for good. This limitation would not affect the member to run for a Senate seat or for the Presidency.

The Senate likes to hold onto seats of power for generations. Ted Kennedy (D-MA), Carl Levin (D-MI) and Robert Byrd (D-WV) have collectively served for 124 years. Enough is enough. Gadabout proposes 24 years (four 6 year terms) and then the incumbent must vacate his/her seat and reset the clock (as in the House as described above) before allowed to run for their seat again. This limitation would not affect the member to run for a House seat or for the Presidency.

The President should be allowed to run for a third term. President Roosevelt ran and won four terms. He died in office before completing his fourth term, but the country supported his leadership during a time of war, so he became the first President to hold office longer than 2 terms. This option of an additional term, during periods of national distress, should be allowed for under the constitution provided certain circumstances arise. Who would ever want that thankless job for longer than eight years is a mystery to me, but it should be an option. Under no circumstances should any one individual hold the office of President for longer than 12 collective years—period.

Gadabout is here, for all of you, promoting fresh ideas to lead the nation.

Identity Lost

Gadabout has noticed that the individualities of the states has been lost, or nearly so. After driving up and down the east coast, through Canada, and west to Detroit, it seems everywhere looks the same. Home Depots, MacDonald’s, 7-11, Olive Garden, Shell Oil and Chevrolet stand tall and greet you as you exit the highway. America, once held together with multiple fabrics of value and belief systems, baseball and free trade has now added corporate structures to our collective personalities. Barriers and aged distinctions that just 50 years ago would uniquely define someone from Pittsburg as compared to another from Hartford have eroded with time, television, and efficient corporate structures.

A Kroger grocery store in Pittsburg is nearly identical to one in Hartford. They will sell the same foods, offer similar benefits to their employees, train employees using the same rule book and so forth. After time, all Kroger employees communicate using corporate buzzwords, transfer to other locations as they climb the corporate ladder and lose some of their hometown uniqueness along the way. If one is to be a success in America, then in most circumstances one must move throughout America to effectively assimilate into corporate molds. All of this corporate influence has stirred our disparate personalities into a regressive shade of tasteless grey.

It is not just the corporations, and I am not suggesting that any of blending is necessarily a bad thing—it simply is what it is. Our government has increased in size and scope and behaves much like its cousin, the corporation. We identify with individual bureaucracies much like corporations. Some are good and some are evil. Wal-Mart is evil, and Apple Computers is good. The Department of Education is good, and the Department of Energy is evil. The FBI is secretive and first rate, but DOT is a group of bumbling idiots. You get the idea.

I am guessing that our national personality has been shifting and evolving since the beginning and that many professional scientists and educators have been studying these trends for years. What I am noting to all of you is that in my lifetime the shifting and blending has accelerated. Dialects have attenuated, centers of commerce have lost traces of individuality once reflective of a geographic locale, and all radio and television programming and advertisements are identical. Yes, differences between regions and states remain and all individuality has not been lost, but the gap is narrowing. It is a bit eerie, to be sure.

And all of these blending trends are not stopping at the boarders. The world is trending towards centers of likenesses at a rapid rate. Ask the travelers; they’ll tell you of a world blending into one. The airline pilots, international bankers, military types, international relief organizations will tell stories of watching Survivor on the television while drinking a Coke and eating a Quarter Pounder with cheese while conducting business in Europe and Asia.

Gadabout believes that as our far-reaching corporate and governmental tentacles continue to reach out and touch globally, that these blending trends will continue. What the world will resemble is a mystery to me, but I am certain that it will be less distinctive than it is today. Observe and take notes.

Pedophile Profiling

One of Gadabout's peers pointed out the fact that pedophiles all seem to drive like vehicles--pedophile vans. Whenever a child is abducted from a bus stop, playground or backyard, a "white van" is usually sited near the kidnapping scene. The van is not always white, but a van seems to be the vehicle of choice for child molesters. If this were the case, then it would seem logical to profile all van owners. Well, not all van owners. Not the soccer moms with their high-end cross over Lexus SUVs. The vans we are talking about are those Ford and Chevy 70's, 80's and 90's conversion vans that have faded paint and rusty fenders. They stick out like a sore thumb, and the only people that seem to own these clunkers are dudes that paint houses, engage in trafficking illegal aliens, deliver pizzas or run obscure home improvement businesses.

Nothing "good" is ever associated with a "pedophile van." When you see one in a parking lot, you would most likely not park next to one. If you happen to pass one on the highway and get a quick look in the side window, you'll most likely observe a shady looking driver and a passenger smoking a cigarette. They might even be drinking beers. Nope, like hanging out at a bar after midnight, nothing good ever comes about with pedophile vans.

When I read in the paper that a lowlife woman let some sleazebag abuse her daughters for a few bucks, I envision a pedophile van with a faded rebel flag bumper sticker. A news story about a couple keeping their son locked away like a dog in a cage for two years--you got it, a white van with dented bumpers. Since pedophile van owners transcend race, gender and religious boundaries, they are ripe for governmental profiling. It is time to be proactive. Let's catch evil before evil acts are committed. We are only a driveway away from preventing crime. Let's get busy.

Toss the Cash

A Very Cute Home In Buffalo, NY

Gadabout has discovered, and recently reinforced, the fact that just about any obstacle can be overcome by throwing money at a problem. So, if you have enough money to toss about, you’ll enjoy a relatively trouble free life. I know what you are thinking, “money can’t buy you happiness, Gadabout.” True, but you can have a damn good time running like a rock star across the French Riviera during the summer, drinking and partying. An abundance of Euros can also be used to effectively payoff the policia in Spain, France and Italy. Gadabout knows this first hand—it is true, but that was a long time ago, so let’s fast forward to Buffalo, 2007.

A friend of mine has moved to Buffalo and purchased a home built in 1937. That’s an old house by Gadabout standards, and if you have ever owned a home that has been around the block a few times, then you have a good idea where I am going with all of this. Personally, I prefer to buy new, but if taken in on a dated property, then I insist on it already being refurbished. That is just my way—minimum headaches.

Now, my friend fell in love with her cute (Marcie, the real estate agent, liked to use “cute,” so let’s ride with it) cape cod near the university. It has 3 bedrooms, 1 and a half baths, hardwood throughout most and a “cute” yard. It is just plain “cute” all around. Certainly too cute to pass up! Gadabout, on the other hand, saw an aged roof, a falling apart garage, evidence of water damage, requirements of electrical upgrades and so forth. Yes, I also think the house is cute too, so don't get the wrong idea. I gave a thumb's up to the property.

Anyway, cash will fix anything! In just two days time the carpet was replaced on the stairs and in one of the bedrooms (carpeting the basement is delayed due to seeping water during the first thunderstorm), electrical updated (electrician has to return in two weeks for some other details), new appliances installed, roofing and gutter guy scheduled for tomorrow, and all utilities are turned on. This little place may be a bit of a money pit for now, but the almighty cashola is being thrown in the proper direction and it will be a great (cute) little place to live in a month’s time. Isn’t America great—toss the dollars and all works out in the end.

If it worked for Tom Hanks and Shelley long in 1986, then it can work for Gadabout and his special friend in 2007! Fingers are crossed.